“Hey Trevor, I have been traveling for almost 3 years now and I’ve been in comfortable places and not so comfortable. I feel very humble around locals and infinitely grateful for their hospitality, which in a way is a sort of human connection but rarely ever bonding. Bonding happens without borders, I agree, but amongst like-minded people, or people who have had the opportunity to experience the world in a similar way that you did.
What are your thoughts about this?”
— —
I’m sorry that I didn’t respond to this earlier.
I took a nine to five job in Belgium coaching pro basketball and gave up on Medium last year. I am so mad at myself for giving up on Medium!
BUT I’M BACK!
How are you?
Thank you for your question.
So to answer, so yes, I think there is a bond spectrum.
Like a bell curve.
Bonding happens on this spectrum to a place, or person, and depending on how you feel with this place or person.
How you feel about the person or place while in the presence of this person or place changes the bond over time.
I would have little bond with Americans partying in Cancun. Yet, just a mile away, I’m dancing salsa, living with sailors, playing volleyball, eating with locals, laughing with new cruisers, and taking time to reflect on my life.
When I live in a place long enough, it happens with like-minded strangers in foreign places that eventually become friends and then later, friends that become lifelong friends.
Solo-travelers, nomads, or adventures travelers that get off the typical vacation destination journey may understand bonding as I do differently — that I can connect to people of any culture, place, or country as I travel or live, even but this is on a spectrum.
A spectrum dependent on how I feel about that person or place.
How long does it take us to bond to someone while traveling?
Well, for me, it typically takes some time. But not always. Sometimes I just hit it off and it’s magic. Laughter. Rum. Tequila on a boat. And forever we are bonded. It could be a bus ride through Costa Rica. It could a be a hostel in Tulum.
But there are times when I let people go that I bonded with — there is not enough time for every person or place I bond with, but I still appreciate that short bond. That short time where I can learn from them. Something about their life. Their mindset. Their love for something.
We can learn something from anyone, my grandpa, a 85-year old life long farmer told me.
Travel is a chance to learn.
And if I’m lucky, bond deeply.
Bonding to a place and people can happen without living there in a different way for me, but speaking their language, taking time to connect to them, and how you feel when you do, truly matters.
